MOVIES:   A Life in Pictures

A is for Alien that was me, my Birth both bloody and terrible, tearing my mother apart; my father was Spellbound. My mother, The African Queen, had always been one of his Dreamgirls; a veritable slave to her Accidental Husband and where I inevitably ended up as the Go-Between. It was a sad case of Beauty AndThe Beast where father had always been such an Enigma. Suddenly Last Summer we all seemed to inhabit a kind of Ice Age where we were always Frozen out and often for just Being There. Of course When Harry Met Sally things had been very different.

‘You Can Count On Me,’ he had said.

And she had just been an ordinary Working Girl at Alice’s Restaurant. But maybe Some Like It Hot, because In The Beginning they were so incredibly Happy Together. When things changed it was Whiskey Galore and a Foreign Affair and their lives went into Free Fall. He just couldn’t Control his Bad Habits; Repulsion began to set in. And then an Angry Silence had developed between them. So where had Love Actually come into this? He was Clueless and she was definitely The Conformist; it was indeed Hard Times. Father thought it was Much Ado About Nothing, but mother was Nobody’s Fool. And he slowly became the Condemned man.

He used to call her a Psycho when she stayed all day locked in her Room At The Top of the house and The Hours slid slowly by. He was Home Alone now and couldn’t afford to make One False Move after that regrettable One Night of Love. Sometimes he felt there was No End In Sight and it filled him with a strange Melancholia. Just My Luck, he thought, but he hadn’t been The Marrying Kind so it could be the right Time To Leave. But father had never really learned to play by The Rules Of The Game and if he did he would Never Tell Me Never.

Remember Me? I’m the Funny Girl. I’m the one who doesn’t want them to Break Up; I want us to be The Way We Were with No Turning Back. 

‘Dad,’ I say, ‘You’re not that Far From Heaven.’ 

And he looks up at the room where mum is and sighs. It had been such a Brief Encounter.

‘Do you want to be A Solitary Man?’ and he shakes his head in reply. He needs to Talk to Her. He climbs the Spiral Staircase in The Silence and I pray that it’s not just A Shot In The Dark.

‘Go on,’ I urge him. ‘And dad...please, Don’t Look Back in Anger.’

Mum opens the door then and she smiles cautiously at him and she blows me a kiss because it’s going to be A Night To Remember and I think it’s Time To Leave, I am Alone in The Dark as The Stars Look Down.

It’s a Wonderful Life, really and I’d like to make the most of The Remains Of The Day.